NBA All-Star Weekend is coming up in a couple of days. The NBA always puts out a fun product when it comes to their All-Star festivities. People complain constantly about how there’s no defense in the All-Star game. I get that. Then there are the complaints of the Dunk Contest not being what it used to be. Again, I get that.
I get all of that. Still, compared to all other sports (maybe outside of Major League Baseball) the NBA always makes it an entertaining weekend.
Watching all the coverage of NBA All-Star Weekend over the years I always notice one thing. Players hanging out with fans. This entire weekend is for the fans of the game and the players do a really good job of putting on for them.
It led me to the question in the title. If you had the chance to hire an All-Star to hang out with you for the day… Who do you choose and what do you do for the day?
You get to choose from this year’s current All-Stars. I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now. I’ve come up with a few potential choices followed by my actual pick.
Kevin Love – LeBron Shaming
I know Kevin Love is hurt and won’t be partaking in the NBA All-Star festivities. Still, I want to hang out with him so badly. K-Love has gotten the shit end of the stick ever since he arrived in Cleveland.
He is literally blamed for just about everything. Don’t just look at this season. LeBron has been chirping Kevin Love ever since he put on a Cavaliers’ uniform. It always has been unfair to the guy.
That’s why it would be a dream to hang out with Kevin Love and shit-talk LeBron all day. I know they won a title together, but you know deep down in his mind Kevin wanted to throw confetti spitballs at LeBron during the ceremony.
I just imagine us chilling in Los Angeles where Kevin is from and he just tells me about some weird stories about LeBron.
“LeBron forces the training staff to rub his belly and tell him he’s a start before every game.”
That’s a great potential day.
Anthony Davis – Recruitment
This one would be purely selfish. I would take Anthony Davis to the city of Boston and pull out every stop possible.
Just think about every possible way to market the city to an athlete and that’s what I would do. I would do just about anything to convince Anthony Davis that his next NBA team should be the Celtics.
“Wow, this city is incredible. I need to be here.”
*Danny Ainge appears and hugs me*
“You’re a hero in this city, kid.”
Kyrie Irving – Uncle Drew
My favorite ad campaign of all time is the Uncle Drew series with Pepsi & Kyrie.
Kyrie and I would kick it all day in the Uncle Drew makeup. I would go full old-guy with Kyrie but we wouldn’t play any basketball. Instead, we just go around being typical old-dudes who are allowed to say whatever they want with no filter.
Then we just drop in on all of these stores and restaurants claiming free stuff because we’re old and we earned it. Store owners around the city just laugh at our oldness. Old people are talked to the same way as you talk to a puppy. We take full advantage.
Then we hit the club and break out young people dance moves, heading home with all of Boston’s cougars.
The Official Choice – Draymond Green – Chief Groin Destroyer
I’m going with Draymond Green as my NBA All-Star hangout pick.
I want you to imagine all of your life’s enemies. Think of the people you truly don’t like and just want to really send a message to. In today’s day and age you really can’t do much. You’re not going to attack these people because we’re all sane. We aren’t going to continue to subtweet because it’s childish.
We are going to have Draymond Green stand next to our enemies and act like he was bumped into. Draymond will proceed to jump and extend like a starfish where he will unleash a thundering kick onto our enemy’s groin.
I stand a respectable 46 feet away laughing like we did when we all saw Dave Chappelle do stand up for the first time. Draymond Green then sprints away and high-fives whoever is in his way.